The day I wanted to run away

Hannah Pilnick - The day I wanted to run away


I’m sure there were times when you felt you want to "run away" from everything, to go out on a few day vacation, clear your mind .

But most of the time it wasn't made possible because you had no arrangement for the kids, no money, no one to go with, can’t get the days off from work, or can’t leave your life commitments.

One day I was in such a situation. I felt I have to go on a vacation. I complained to my husband that I’m pretty tired and need some quiet time and he told me, “So what are you waiting for? Go wherever you want.” I told him, “But the children and everything…” And he said, “Tomorrow, go wherever you want.”

I went a few steps back and asked myself, “Where would I like to travel?” “Who would I like to be with?” “What would I like to eat?” “What would I like to do on the vacation?”

The answers were very precise and clear:
“Where would I like to travel?” – nowhere.
“Who would I like to be with?” – with my children and my husband.
“What would I like to eat?” – healthy food only.
“What would I like to do on the vacation?” – to run, sleep when I want to, watch my children laugh, be in nature, write, heal, and wake up whenever my body wants.

I understood that everything I desire already exists in my daily life. So why do I feel distress? Why do I need to get away so far, just to have what I already have?

I understood that I don’t allow myself to leave in freedom on my daily life and only there, far from home, on a “vacation,” it is legitimate to feel freedom, since I'm fornally on a vacation.

Since then, I’ve declared my home to be my private hotel, in which all my needs are provided at the highest level. This hotel cannot be replaced by any place in the world, since it has the people I love the most, it is clean and tidy, it has healthy food, it is so comfortable and provides me all my needs.

I understood that all that is left is to allow myself, at my own home, to behave exactly as I would have behaved on a vacation.

So I reduced the pace of life and decided to allow myself to enjoy magical moments of daily initiated vacation that I’ve organized to myself.

On this vacation: When I’m tired – I go and take a nap When I need quiet – I keep silent and observe When I need some air – I spend some time in nature When I’m tired from work – I take a day off When I don’t feel like cooking – we eat outside When I want to go on a Vipassana retreat - I declare that mom doesn’t talk much, just what’s really needed, and stays silent.

Since then I don’t want to run away to anywhere, because home is my favorite place and there is no place like home, and if I have to travel and sleep outside, the thing that pleases me the most is to return home to my vacation.

Real freedom is internal freedom. With internal freedom, you can turn anything to special, big, interesting, happy, and exciting.

I wish you to allow yourself to live your daily life like a vacation in which you have everything you need and everything you love the most, every moment, every day!

Happy Mother's Day,