There are phrases we hear throughout our lives, but only at a certain point do we truly stop and understand their depth. "Know where you come from, and where you're going" is one of them.

This ancient phrase, may seem at first like a moral or spiritual statement, but at its core, it teaches us a simple and profound truth about life: in order to know where we are going, we need to understand where we came from.

When a person asks themselves, "Where did I come from?" they are not just asking where they were born, what their last name is, or in which home they grew up. They are asking a much deeper question: From which roots did I sprout? What lives preceded me? What forces have been passed down to me? What fears, patterns, beliefs, and pains have I inherited, even if no one has ever spoken about them?

Within each of us lies a story that is much bigger than ourselves. It holds what our parents instilled in us, what our grandparents survived, what those before us dreamed of, strived for, achieved, and also what they failed to achieve.

In the field of healing, I refer to this as energetic memories—memories that are stored within a person and passed down as a legacy. Experiences that were never processed, pains that never received attention, understanding, or healing, fears that went unanswered, do not simply disappear. They remain in the body, in the consciousness, in the soul, and at times continue to be passed down to the next generation.

That’s why there are situations in which a person feels an overwhelming weight, anxiety, sadness, anger, or difficulty they cannot explain. On the outside, everything may seem fine, but inside, the person carries something deeper—something that didn't start with them.

Sometimes, this manifests in strong reactions, pain, distance, fear, or a difficulty in explaining why something affects them so deeply. "They simply feel that something inside them is at play, weighing them down, and controlling them from within. As long as they don't understand what they are truly carrying, it is hard to release, heal, and move forward freely.

In my practice, I meet many adults who have already started their own families, yet when they speak about their parents, something deep inside them still hurts. They criticize, judge, pull away, and sometimes even cut ties. They tell me that they cannot be around their parents, cannot bear their voices, their gaze, or the emotions that arise when they are near them. But beneath the anger, there is often a much deeper pain.

And time and time again, I see the same truth: even when a person pulls away physically, the connection within them does not truly disappear. There is nowhere to escape from where you came from. You can pull away, close doors, decide you don’t want contact, but inside, the root remains. It lives within you and influences the way you feel, love, get hurt, open up, or shut down.

And this is exactly where the importance of this phrase lies: "Know where you come from, and where you're going." It is so important for people to know where they came from, because without this knowledge, they may live out patterns, fears, and pains they carry within them, without fully understanding what is truly driving them. They don't always understand why they react intensely to certain situations, why they keep repeating the same patterns, or why certain relationships stir fear, anger, or guilt in them.

And when a person doesn't know their roots, it is hard for them to truly live out of freedom, choice, and fulfillment, because something from the past continues to control them from within. But when they begin to understand the story they come from, something within them starts to clarify.

Suddenly, they understand that their pain didn’t appear randomly, but is connected to a broader story, to a chain of generations, to the experiences and coping mechanisms passed down through the family. Then, instead of just feeling that something is wrong with them, they start to understand themselves deeply.

This understanding doesn’t erase the pain, but it softens the inner struggle, opens space for compassion, and allows them to begin healing, releasing, and choosing their path with more freedom and less survival mode.

Often, we judge our parents through the lens of the hurt we feel from them. And that’s natural. But when we truly stop to reflect, we discover that they too came with their own story.

They were children too. They grew up in a reality that shaped them. They too received from the generation before them a certain way of loving, a certain way of fearing, a certain way of dealing with life. They didn’t always have the tools to give us what we needed. They didn’t always know how to contain, how to soothe, how to express love in the way our hearts needed.

And when we understand this, we don’t negate the pain that was there, but we broaden our view and see that they too carried with them deficiencies, wounds, and patterns that were passed down to them. This understanding isn’t meant to justify, but to allow the heart to soften.

And this is where the depth of honoring parents comes in. Honoring parents is not just about outward behavior, or about giving respect in the conventional sense. At its core, honoring parents is the ability to see our parents as whole people, with their own story, their wounds, their limitations, their intentions, and their efforts. It’s the ability to understand that they did the best they could with what they had.

This doesn’t mean agreeing with everything. It doesn’t mean there weren’t mistakes. And it doesn’t mean our pain isn’t real. It means agreeing to see the bigger picture and, from that place, making room for compassion, acceptance, and deep gratitude for life itself, for the path that was paved, and for what was passed down to us.

Being connected to your roots doesn’t mean getting stuck in the past. It doesn’t mean being consumed by the past. On the contrary. It means agreeing to embrace the place you came from, recognizing it, feeling deep gratitude for the path that came before you, and from that place, choosing a freer path for where you want to go. Because the choice is always in your hands.

You don’t have to continue the pain, but you do need to acknowledge it. You don’t have to repeat the patterns, but you do need to see them. And when you acknowledge your roots, appreciate and thank the generation before you, and process what has been stored inside you, you not only heal yourself. You also pave a better path for the next generation.

And this, in my view, is the deep meaning of this powerful phrase: "Know where you come from, and where you're going":

Know where you come from, to understand what lives within you. Know where you come from, to feel deep appreciation and gratitude for those who came before you. Know where you come from, to stop running away from yourself.

And from there, from your roots, from awareness, from gratitude, and from healing, choose where you are going.

Wishing you a path of connection and healing,

❤️ Hannah